Surviving a disabling and life changing car accident was awesome.
The chronic pain, multiple surgeries and numerous pain pills that followed was my hell on earth. As I struggled to put my life back together, my doctors gave me large quantities of powerful pain medication. The drugs were taking its toll on my body.
My medical chart reads, "substance abuse" because I was honest about my weed usage. I don't drink alcohol or take any dangerous drugs but there it was as plain as day ... SUBSTANCE ABUSE.
One day, I just woke up and decided that this wasn't the path for me. I started to use marijuana to ease my suffering. What a difference! No matter how much I smoked, I didn't have that hungover drugged feeling or any of the misery associated with the pills. The only negative side effect was jail. I couldn't afford to buy marijuana, so I grew my own plants and made edibles and medicated butter. Louisiana is not a medical marijuana approved state so when the police came, I was arrested and faced five years in jail.
Me. A woman in her late thirties with no previous record was about to spend time behind bars. Had I kept taking drugs instead of medicating with marijuana, I might not be here to tell this story.
My parents don't even acknowledge my cannabis usage. My father refuses to even talk about weed. I've been honest about my marijuana usage but they immediately change the subject or get very quiet when I have enough courage to even mention my life changing decision.
Many things have happened to me after I came out of "the green closet" about my marijuana consumption. I've been ostracized by family and friends who stopped inviting me to functions because I am a crazy drug addict.
That's when the depression got worse. I just wanted to end my suffering. End my life. Everyday. Multiple times a day. Who would miss me? The truth was, I'd miss me. I missed being able to live and be happy. Cannabis has given me the strength and ability to walk my path with reduced pain. I've paid the price and have suffered enough. I found my inner peace and the strength to keep moving.
If anyone is out there and can relate to my pain, know that you are loved. Know that you are an amazing human being with the power to move mountains. Embrace your reflection. Kiss the mirror. Find yourself and own who you are destined to be.