I have this fear of everything around me falling apart. As a result, I take responsibility of everything all around me. I hoard responsibility. I worry for the sake of worrying. I take on other people's worries. And God forbid I should let anyone down! I feel guilty establishing normal, healthy boundaries. It is so hard to just "let go" and let the chips fall where they may. Living among chaos during your formative years can meld you into a person that yearns for structure and control, even it is to your own detriment.

I now know that whatever will happen WILL happen, whether I want it to or not. Learning to let go is a constant battle. It gave me such anxiety to cut things loose, I could barely breathe. It gets better with practice. It gets better because I'm keenly aware of how not healthy it is to be everything for everyone. ..all.the.time.  

We're all a work in progress.